Opening Up
by J.D. Cunegan
Summary: AU: There was no sniper at Montgomery's funeral, and after the service is over, Castle and Beckett realize they can't put off that talk any longer. One-shot.


They had barely made it back into her apartment from Roy Montgomery's funeral before Richard Castle started undoing the knot in his tie. He walked past Kate Beckett as she closed and locked the door, before stopping short of the couch and turning to her.

"I'm sorry." They spoke in unison.

Kate smiled despite herself, brushing a strand of hair behind her left ear. She then reached up to undo the bun, letting her hair fall to her shoulders. Even when they were at their wit's end with each other, they were still in-sync.

"Go ahead." Castle pulled off his tie and undid the top button of his shirt, exhaling with relief. "You first."

Dammit, why did he have to act all chivalrous _now_? Putting all of the pressure on her, to say everything that had gone unspoken between them over the past several months, when he _knew_ how hard opening up was for her.

But these things needed to be said. The fact that they'd gone this long without having a lengthy, serious sit-down was probably the biggest reason for their issues with each other.

What was it her dad once said? About communication being the key to a healthy relationship? Apparently, that advice extended beyond romantic pairings.

"You weren't wrong." She shrugged, tossing the hat to her police uniform on the table. "Not about everything." A smile teased her lips; even now, she couldn't resist a small jab.

"We _do_ need to talk about things." Kate approached Castle, looking up into his eyes, even though she knew doing so might distract her from what needed to be said. "I just…don't know what to say."

Castle gave her a sad, knowing smile. Truth was, he wasn't quite sure what to say, either — which was an issue, considering he made his living with words. He knew what he felt, he knew that every time he saw Kate's face, it lifted his spirits. He knew his heart skipped a beat every time she smiled — even if she was eye-rolling at him in the process.

Now, here she stood inches from him, and he knew this conversation could go one of two ways…and his gut told him it would end with him leaving her apartment, disappointed. His fight-or-flight threatened to kick in, but he suppressed it; this had to happen.

Running away wouldn't accomplish anything.

"Tell me this…" His voice was calm; he was desperately trying to keep a neutral tone. Castle didn't want to tip his hand. "When we were in that freezer, and we couldn't feel anything, you were about to tell me something."

Kate swallowed hard, and she could feel her hands shaking. Some part of her had hoped he'd forgotten about that, what with all of the commotion and confusion once they were rescued. She knew better, though. That wasn't the sort of thing a trusted partner forgot.

"Yeah." She averted her gaze, then forced herself to look at him.

"You love me."

There was no smile. No smug look of self-satisfaction. No boasting. No sly grin. No teasing. A simple statement of fact, one that tugged at Kate's heart as they passed through her ears.

He knew. Of course he knew. How could he not, when seemingly everyone else in that godforsaken precinct knew? When her training officer, who'd met the guy for all of 15 minutes, knew?

Hell, deep down, even _she_ knew. How could she not, after their close call in that suite in Los Angeles? She'd barely started to admit those feelings to herself, let alone to him, and yet here he stood, saying the very thing she was too petrified to utter.

She couldn't even snark her way out of this one.

"Uh…" She swallowed hard again, watching the panic flash through his eyes. "Yeah." She placed her hands in the back pockets of her dress pants, sighing.

"Yeah, I guess I do."

There was that little crooked half-smile she'd been expecting. But it wasn't smug or self-centered or anything like that. There was a warmth, a genuineness to it that it melted her heart a little and she couldn't help but smile in return.

Castle stepped toward her, taking her hand into his, tentatively at first. She snaked her fingers between his, and they squeezed. "Castle…"

The smile faded, and he nodded, but he didn't let go of her hand. "I know." A darkness fell over his eyes again." "Josh…"

"Rick…"

"No, I understand." He started to pull away before Kate, but she grabbed at his hand and squeezed it as hard as she could. Her eyes bore into his with a determination usually reserved for interrogating a suspect.

"I know you're not that dumb," she teased. "Think about it, Castle. If I love _you_, then I can't possibly love Josh, too."

Logically, he knew that was the case. But Castle got the same empty feeling in his gut every time he saw Josh or heard his name that he'd had when Demming was around. It wasn't jealousy; no, this was stronger than that, and that feeling with Demming was when he first realized this wasn't just some crush, that Kate wasn't just some conquest for him to chase after.

But here she stood, essentially telling him Josh was old news. She gave his hand another squeeze, and this time, his smile was a full one, free of all of his reservations.

"Then I don't love Josh, either."

She smiled one of those giant, toothy smiles that Castle loved so much, laughing and shaking her head. His quip had the desired effect; the air around them was lighter than before. It was still thick with grief; it probably always was after they laid a cop to rest.

But at least the tension wasn't theirs anymore.

Her smile faded and she scrunched her brow in confusion. "There is…one problem, though." She fought the urge to smile when he shot her a serious, worried glare. "I think we should get a do-over on our first kiss."

"Detective Beckett," he mocked, "you mean you want something more romantic than playing drunk and sucking face in an effort to save Ryan and Esposito?"

"Yes."

She tugged on his collar and their lips found each other for the first time — the first time _for real_ — and his hands ran from her shoulders, up the sides of her neck, until they cupped her cheeks. They stood in the threshold between her kitchen and living room, savoring each other — truly exploring each other's mouths for the first time.

She breathed Castle's name into his mouth; he returned the favor. They stood perfectly still, lost in this moment with each other. For the briefest of moments, they forgot all of the pain and the betrayal.

They had found each other, at long, long last.


End file.
